I am what I am.

Most people that know me know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, my pocket, my pants, just about every where it’s visible. I had one of the hardest questions asked to me, or one of what I think is the hardest. “How would you describe yourself?”
But I decided I would give it a try.

I am the Circle I am my friends I should say, though the Circle makes up a big chunk of it, I do have friends I hold near and dear outside. These are in no particular order.

Sara: Sara, my anime buddy, opener of new fandoms and all around great person. You’ve listened to me rant about things some other people just don’t get. You’ve helped me relax around other people and made me realize not everyone expects me to be perfect. From being my Anime buddy, my con buddy or the walks we take when one of us just can’t stand being in our respective houses. Crazy conversations on the way to and from school, giving me rides (even though you hate it). All of these things and many other things I’m not sure how to put into words makes you awesome. I hope I’ve made it clear in the years I’ve known you how much you’ve shaped me as a person and my world views. You’re a sister to me.

Nikki: Mutual bitching buddy. You and I haven’t known each other very long in relation to how long we’ve known other people in the circle, but I count you as one of my closest friends. You’re someone who doesn’t mind me crying, and who I don’t mind crying around. As well as helping me with my Real Life problems, you are my Persona buddy. We’ll beat that damn game somehow.

Katie: Though we just really started talking again this year, you and I knew each other when we where little. We both got bullied by the same person (ewwww, Rachel, and not as in Woody) You pick up on things people miss with me sometimes, and know when to leave me alone, or when to push it to find out what’s really bugging me. You’re going through hard times right now, but you’ll make it through them because you’re stronger than all this. Whatever happens, whatever you need me for or I need you for we’re friends.

Woody: Sometimes I’m not sure how much of you we all really see, but whatever amount it is you are an awesome person. You’ve introduced me to some good books, listened to me rant listlessly about everything from what crazy book I just read to more personal things. Keep on rocking; you’ll be one hell of a Doctor.

Brendan: Life has kinda screwed you over right now. Despite that you’ve managed to keep things together as humanly possible. You’re the person in the circle that can understand the thrill of doing great in a performance, or the feeling of “fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-“ when you do no so hot. So keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll come out fine, it’s something you just have to put your head down on and try to make it though. You will though, I’m here if you ever need me though.

Amanda: Jew, you’re amazing. You have a lot of shit you deal with, but still manage to come to school with a smile and a good laugh. Your art makes me smile, because it’s something that is so far removed from what I normally see. It’s amazing in its own right and I hope you keep it up. You’ve also seen my darker side from middle school when I was a prat, and have given me a chance anyways. Thank you, I don’t know if you realize how grateful I am for that.

Dakota: You, my middle school punching bag. You’ve grown up a lot, and not let how I acted then effect us being friends now. It’s great of you, thank you for being the tool and giving me many heartfelt lols on days when I’m down.

Brian: My first name, your last name, pain in the rear for both of us. I first met you freshmen year P.E. but we didn’t really hang out. But when I joined the Circle I got to know you, and I can say you’re a pretty awesome guy. Don’t lose that awesome.

Mariah: My hug buddy! You never turn down a hug, and are someone who is always wearing a smile. Thank you, it’s nice to have someone walk in and be a morning person besides me.

Paige: Our level head, the strict mommy and so many other things. You’re the voice of reason so many of us miss collectively, and I swear my conscience has started to sound like you (mostly in relation to not procrastinating)

Autumn: You are someone that makes me feel safe, physically and emotionally. I’m not sure what to put here, there are ways you’ve helped me that are hard to put into words, so here are two that cum it up as much as it can be. Thank you

Michelle: When I first met you, you intimidated me a little. You are strong without having to shove it out there, which to me is an amazing thing. Our walks out from the village every day are going to be something I remember very well, the times I remember from high school. You make me green with envy, because I know I’ll never be half the writer you are, but I’m happy for you. It’s so much a part of you. Where ever you chose to go with your life, I know you’ll make it.

Trent: You’re someone that when I’m tripping over my words, comes up with what I’m trying to say. You’re patient with me, I know I can be annoying. Sci-fi as lit and Art History have been a blast.

Will: You and I have been through a lot. Sometimes things are still awkward, but that’s okay it’ll pass with time. No matter what’s happened, you’ve been an amazing friend to me. You have great things ahead of you, and don’t let any thing that’s happened stop them from happening. Take a deep breath, you can do these things. I know it because you have opportunities and abilities that will lead you there if you take them. You’re important to whom I’ve become as a person, and I’ve learned a lot of things from you, if you know it or not. We’ve gone different ways in some areas, but you’re a great friend, and always will be.

Krystal: Tangent, rp buddy. Spent a lot of time on the phone buddy. There are things that we’ve dealt with that are better left out of writing, but you know them. We’ll continue to be close, because out of every one I know, you understand best that distance has little to do with it. Never hesitate to come to me with something, I’m your friend, it’s what I’m here for.

Brooke: You’re amazing, beautiful and a great person. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. We haven’t known each other for all that long, but sometimes time just isn’t a factor in these things.

Sammy: You’re near and dear to me, and have shared some things it’s hard for people to understand. Thank you for being there for me.

I won’t tell you all to never change, because that is the nature of things, to change. But I will say that there’s very little that could change the influence every single one of you has had on me. Family bonds are as strong as ours. Thank you.

Time, time and time again.

I'm not even sure what I'm writing about, I just figured it's been a while and I should update.

Okay, so that was a lie. I just wanted to start rambling, so I guess I am sure what I'm writing about.

Item one: WASHINGTON

So, it's definable I'm going now. All I know is some time after Comic Con. I want to go, but I've felt this strange pull to stay here in Cali because all the people I care about are here, all my friends. I mean, there's the Circle, Will, Krystal, and a lot of other people. My family for one. I'm not even going to College right off the bat, so I wont have that to occupy my mind, or it to use to make new friends. To sum it up I'm pretty much scared shitless, but I'm committed and I need to see this through.

Item two: PEOPLE
I just, I don't understand people. As soon as I think I've let something go, it rears it's head and sends me on the same emotional trip. Guilt, feeling sick, anger and what I think is acceptance.

Item three: PROM
jklsdkfhlausdkjkcvbjsdhsdab.kskjldfsjdjbdjbdbvbsdbjkdsjbkd Need to finish Dress. All I can say on that one other than if it sucks, we will make it NOT SUCK. Because we're made of awesome like that.

Item four: THANKS CIRCLE

Thank you, my friends. No, that doesn't really cover it, does it? It's gunna be a lot more empty every day then the term friends covers, not having all of you around. Family is closer, but in a way it's even more than that, because none of us has to put up with the other like with Family, we choose to. All of you have shaped me in ways that I don't know how to tell you. I don't know if it looks like it, but I feel like I'm a completely diferent person than I was when I was first just a "tangent" to the Circle. People come and go, but nothing can take away how all of you have left a mark on me and my personality and my beliefes.
(there are one or two people outside the circle that this applys to as well, I hope you know who you are)

Grace.

Well, there goes the cool toys

Question time!

1. What was your first impression of Sara?
2. Will Nikki eat those green eggs and ham?
3. Amanda and Paige are forced to roleplay out a verbal couple fight. Who gets to play the wife?
4. Oh no, Paige got kidnapped by aliens! What do you say once they get back?
5. Autumn suddenly knows all your secrets. What do you have to say about that?
6. What would you do if you hadn't met Woody?
7. Would you marry Michelle?
8. Who would you rather get stuck in handcuffs with, Trenton or Autumn?
9. Is Kraut your best friend?
10. Have you ever had lunch together with Katie?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) That was middle school, uhhhh… “She’s friendly, oh hey, she likes anime!”
2)Only if she made them.
3)Paige, unless it’s a Friday, then she’s the man
4) Did you meet the Doctor? Any one from Star Trek? You okay? What did you bring us?
5) I trust her not to go around telling everyone (unless they should be told)
6)hmmmm, have a lot less sexual jokes. No, really, I have no idea.
7) No, I love her, not that way though (well, maybe on Thursdays)
8)Autumn, I’ve known her longer
9) Nope
10) No, but we should.

I got all these questions from here http://mct421.deviantart.com/art/Question-Meme-Generator-69266481

Have fun :P

How did I get this out of trying to write a personal statment prompt?

This is hard for me to do when I’m not sure about my world. Everything feels turned on its head, as if I’m in some Alice in Wonderland bull shit. I’m rather sick of it. How can I “be myself” or “express me” when I’m not even sure who “me” is? I feel like I have a name that doesn’t fit my face, like you ever met someone that you think ‘oh they look like a Jessica, not a Brittany,’? Kinda how I’m feeling, like I’m jammed into clothing that doesn’t fit, the sphere in the square hole syndrome. How do I stop feeling like this?
Ah, Identity crisis.

Stupid normy kids

I don't get why people get angry at me being happy, I just don't. Some one asked me today why I'm so happy, in a very angry tone. I honestly can't give that a good reason, I mean it's just I don't have a reason to be sad, being apathetic seems boring, and being angry all the time just burns up to much energy, I'm not productive when I'm angry. I think part of it is that life sucks enough with out me making my self more miserable. Having my friends is enough for me for now, being kept fed (even if I do tend to bitch about food) is enough, having a home to go to is enough for now, it's my goal to make this year the most memorable for the circle.

"Remember, Man, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so you shall be
Prepare for Death and follow me"
"To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know the way you went."
From a tombestone.