I'm not even sure what I'm writing about, I just figured it's been a while and I should update.
Okay, so that was a lie. I just wanted to start rambling, so I guess I am sure what I'm writing about.
Item one: WASHINGTON
So, it's definable I'm going now. All I know is some time after Comic Con. I want to go, but I've felt this strange pull to stay here in Cali because all the people I care about are here, all my friends. I mean, there's the Circle, Will, Krystal, and a lot of other people. My family for one. I'm not even going to College right off the bat, so I wont have that to occupy my mind, or it to use to make new friends. To sum it up I'm pretty much scared shitless, but I'm committed and I need to see this through.
Item two: PEOPLE
I just, I don't understand people. As soon as I think I've let something go, it rears it's head and sends me on the same emotional trip. Guilt, feeling sick, anger and what I think is acceptance.
Item three: PROM
jklsdkfhlausdkjkcvbjsdhsdab.kskjldfsjdjbdjbdbvbsdbjkdsjbkd Need to finish Dress. All I can say on that one other than if it sucks, we will make it NOT SUCK. Because we're made of awesome like that.
Item four: THANKS CIRCLE
Thank you, my friends. No, that doesn't really cover it, does it? It's gunna be a lot more empty every day then the term friends covers, not having all of you around. Family is closer, but in a way it's even more than that, because none of us has to put up with the other like with Family, we choose to. All of you have shaped me in ways that I don't know how to tell you. I don't know if it looks like it, but I feel like I'm a completely diferent person than I was when I was first just a "tangent" to the Circle. People come and go, but nothing can take away how all of you have left a mark on me and my personality and my beliefes.
(there are one or two people outside the circle that this applys to as well, I hope you know who you are)
Grace.
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1 comment:
1. I'm glad you include me in your list of possible reasons to stay, but I would like nothing less than you being unhappy for my sake.
2. I hope I haven't sent you on any of these trips, but if my interpretation of our history is anything close to correct, I probably have... I won't apologize, those; Partially because if I start apologizing for being who I am, it will never end, but mostly because you hate it when I do that.
3. I didn't go to prom. Maybe I should have. Maybe if I'd... But no, that's ancient history now. You'll do just fine on the dress, and you'll actually have a legitimate reason to be proud of what you wear (unlike all those bimbos with $300 dresses and $80 worth of makeup).
4. I'd say 'you're welcome', but in the same vein as not being able to apologize for who I am, I can't take credit for it either.
I refuse to check for spelling or grammar errors, because if I do, I'll end up tearing apart the entire comment. It would end up as soulless as my interactions with people I'm not fond of, and that's the last way I want to act toward you, of all people.
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